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hello dance moms. It's been a while, but not a lifetime. I am glad to be back because I know how much all of this information is needed, and we are back. I took some time off because as you remember from our last chat, my dancer was right in the middle of healing one of her injuries. And I just wanted to take the time honestly to see if everything I was doing is going to be working, because meniscus injury is a very different injury than the ones that we've dealt with before.
And while I had the knowledge, I had the practical and theoretical information, and I've seen it work in other people, I really wanted to see if it could work at our level, especially with some of the other challenges that my dancer was experiencing. So I wanted to make sure that I had a proper container to put this information into so that it could benefit [00:01:00] you guys and your dancers in a way that could be long-lasting.
So that's why, one of the reasons, is why we took this time off. and then also just figuring out exactly what is needed and what support dance moms really want, for their dancers. And also why I actually had to restart is truly because I see there's so much need, and the dance industry is relentless in pushing kids in a direction that is very painful for me personally to see.
And I just finally had enough where I said, "Okay, this I cannot stop," because my information has to get out there, and it has to keep on getting out there until it reaches enough and the right people so that changes can start being made, as opposed to us just waiting and working at a lower level here where, just, a couple of moms, yeah, were not happy, so we make changes.
But I [00:02:00] think these changes really need to happen at a bigger scale so that an entire industry can start making a decision on changing the way that it's been, working our dancers' bodies and, half of the time really ruining dancers' ultimate careers for literally no reason, unnecessarily. And, also I had more information and more knowledge, and more training on how athletes really, manage their bodies, how they manage their injuries, how they are creating these lifelong careers, truly, that are sustainable, not just, this short period of time and then, oh, they're done.
They have to retire early. look at some of these best players in various sports, not just one kind of sport. we're looking at across m- multitude of different sports, and there are so many components that are involved in this that a lot, if not most dance moms just [00:03:00] don't know, and they just i- And whatever they don't know, they can't implement, right?
So it's about the knowledge, it's about understanding, and it's about changing your perspective. So that's why I'm back. And what is going to be different moving forward is that, based on this, all of these questions and the research that I've been doing more of, is that there is a final... It's not really a final.
based on all of the new information, all the questions that have been coming in, I have decided to create something for dance moms to be a guide so that when there is an injury, that they have somewhere to go to, that, I have created a very specific framework for how to make decisions during these tough times, and that is something that I've used multiple times for different kinds of injuries, and it has worked like a charm every time.
I've also helped [00:04:00] other moms do that, and now that I have, in a way, scientific proof in that this framework is very powerful, I want to build something around it to help bring this over to you dance moms so that you can actually take it and run with it and use it basically as your little assistant to help you not to get lost in the darkness of these injury or, even burnout moments.
Okay. So today we're also, of course, going to talk about some tips and tools. And since I've already spent some time getting us back into the Thriving Dancers podcast mode, I'm not going to spend too much time on this because I'm also writing newsletters about these topics. So if you haven't gotten on the newsletter train yet, make sure to sign up.
I will post it in the show notes so that you can click the button and get yourself on [00:05:00] that list, because I do provide more information there as well with some additional resources. So that's always helpful. Okay. So
today I wanted to dive into this one aspect of dance that I just feel like not enough places are talking about it.
And, this something that came up probably a year ago, and then I've seen it play out multiple times over and over again in this past couple of months, especially with, with a lot of dancers talking about how they either did or did not get into the colleges of their choice or, the careers that they wanted that didn't quite pan out, and moms really wanting to know how they can help their dancers succeed.
And I just wanted to touch on this important point for this, for us dance moms. And I'm only saying this because I've gone through this myself. [00:06:00] Ever since my dancer was little and she had shown some super potential that she was really interested in dance, and she was actually getting really good, and I thought, "Oh, maybe there's some kind of a special pathway I could find for her using, other successful dancers that I could just put her on that pathway, and she's gonna just glide straight through into the same awesome outcomes."
And what I realized over the 13-plus years of being a dance mom is that it doesn't really work like this. What is important to recognize for us dance moms, while we can definitely collect as much information as we can, absolutely, because how else are we, the decision makers, really until our dancers reach a certain age.
And then, also how are these dancers of ours are going to make a decision [00:07:00] without the proper information, right? So information is essential. However, we take this information a lot of times as though it's the law. Because it worked for someone else, we assume it's going to work for us. just like many treatments that we talk about in this podcast and the whole Thriving Dancers world, not every single treatment is going to work in exactly the same way for every single dancer.
And that uniqueness of the body, of the physiology, and the mindset, and so many other components that come into the healing process, they are the same concept for the dancer's uniqueness. So what I'm talking about here is when we see that some moms, let's say, are posting on social media, "Oh, my dancer... Let me just share with you.
This is what my dancer did, and this is their awesome outcome," that's [00:08:00] great, and those are fantastic feedback ideas. However, every dancer is different. And when we throw in certain types of dance, for example, ballet is extremely challenging for this situation because ballet has very specific technique, very specific way, especially if it's a very particular type of technique like Vaganova, for example, or, never pronounce this one, Cecchetti, Cecchetti, I think, or Balanchine.
They're very specific ways, and every dancer has to be uniform in a way. But then every dancer has to be uniform, but then how do they get recognized if everyone looks the same? It's really challenging. So what I haven't seen moms really research or ask is, "How do I help my dancer stand out in a way that still keeps their technique intact?"
And honestly, when we look at some of [00:09:00] the dancers, some of the very successful dancers They don't necessarily have a better technique than the other dancers in the corps. But then there's something about that solo dancer that really makes a difference, and that is the bit that is often missing.
And I'm not talking about it, obviously, I'm not a dancer, and I can't quite speak to that particular component. But I am going to be talking to dancers, to professional dancers who have been trained in higher-end academies, on this podcast. We will have these guests, so we can definitely be asking these specific questions of them.
But in the meantime, I have been l- doing some more research on this, and I've listened to one of the very, very good, He's a dancer himself, and he's also a teacher, and he happens to be a YAGP co- not a coach, a judge. And he has talked about this [00:10:00] uniqueness and individuality in every dancer.
And then also he talked about the appropriateness of various combinations and, various dances that a lot of kids do who don't have the capacity for the emotional, aspect of the dance. So for example, you can't really do Esmeralda type of a variation for a, I don't know, for a 10-year-old.
It does not quite suit well because that Esmeralda is a very complex role. doesn't have to be complex technically, but it's complex emotionally. And the 10-year-old dancer cannot possibly infuse that dance with that unique aspect of their emotions and how they're truly interpreting the dance. All they can do is, no offense, but a more robotic kind of a technique showing type of a dance, and that's what judges see a lot of times.
And that's what the directors, that's what the choreographers, that's what the artistic [00:11:00] directors are going to see. And when you have a dancer who is unique, who has that authenticity about them, and I know that word is overused a lot Authenticity. what the heck does that really even mean? Which we're gonna get into in a second.
But, when the dancer really has that come through, it can only come through if they have built that ability throughout the years. Not that, "Okay, so today I'm just gonna go and do this audition authentically. but here I'm just going to do this robotic way." It doesn't quite work like this. There is a complex layering of these skills that have to come through, and this is what th- this particular, YAGP dance/teacher/coach, was talking about.
And that kind of uniqueness is what judges really prefer to see, basically at the same level as they see the technique, right? But then it [00:12:00] seems like certain entities will say, "Okay, we wanna see technique over anything else," and that's how they reward their kids. But the reality is A lot of dance companies, they want that uniqueness because, to be honest, the general audience doesn't really care so much about the technique.
The directors do, but the audience comes for that person. They don't come for how well , the dancer's turnout is. They come to see the personality. They come to see that unique aspect. Now, every single theater is a business, and in order for them to sustain their business, they have to have people coming.
And if they put a perfect mechanical dancer on stage that is just like everybody else, 'cause they've had this awesome training that, we as dance moms put them into that awesome box, awesome training box, but we never really got to the [00:13:00] point of helping them develop that uniqueness. Because let's face it, most studios don't allow that, especially when it comes to ballet, right?
"Why are you doing it like this? It's not how it is," and, "Don't do it that way," and, "You have to follow this particular thing." Whereas when we watch dancers on stage and there's certain performances that stand out in our mind, right? And some of those performances that our dancers fell in love with that really made them want to dance, too, those are the performances that really stand out because that authentic, unique self, that true soul of the dancer really shines on stage.
And, we don't focus on the turnout as much. We look at the whole dance, and did that dance elicit emotions for us? And if it did and I want to come back and see it again, I'm going to buy another ticket. And that's the same for all the other theaters. So yeah, of course, we want dancers to be able to perform all of [00:14:00] these variations normally, without falling, slipping, and God forbid, injuring themselves.
But at the same time, at one point there has to be that differentiation, and I think that is what a lot of times a lot of dance moms get upset about when their dancers don't get into various, programs, and they wonder why. And to me, a lot of times it's a clear marker is that have, has your dancer been able to show that true, authentic self in front of these judges, in front of the directors, who are looking at these auditions?
Because, they go through a lot of these auditions, and so if it's that- Same thing again and again, then how are they standing out? How are they showing themselves differently? okay, so I said that we're gonna talk a little bit about the authenticity here, and, this is something that's been bugging me in general, especially when it comes to, dance.
And I have heard [00:15:00] it a lot of times before, but it always rubs me the wrong way, and I definitely don't want this to happen to you as I'm talking about it. Because what I'm trying to come across here, with this word authenticity is you can call it anything else that you want that really helps you to understand and get this point or concept across to your dancer.
it's the concept of having a true connection between the alignment that is in your dancer where they feel like they need to dance, that they love dance so much, it's part of them, it's part of their core, and how that comes through in their dance. Are they dancing in a way that artistry really comes through, but in such a way that you can literally read a story that they are so deeply connected to from [00:16:00] their perspective?
Not the way that someone else had done it, but from their perspective. Now, I know of course there is an element of choreographer, right? if there's a particular choreographer or, the artistic director that is telling them to do something, there are usually still a certain way that they see it in their mind.
But if you really think about it, this also came to me in the context of, Of self-tapes and, and auditions for actors. So all of these actor, self-tapes that I've seen being discussed, okay, what makes this tape or what made this actor get onto that next level versus what made that actor just pass through and not be selected?
And I thought about that in the context of dance, and it just made perfect sense in terms of that last stage when technique is already there. How are these dancers really using their techniques? And that's how I'm watching these actors. How are they [00:17:00] using their techniques? Are they really using their techniques?
they are and they aren't, and so let me explain that a little bit. They are using their technique in the way that they know that they need to make certain pauses last certain l- a little bit longer, a little bit shorter. and honestly, I don't know the full extent of all of the acting techniques, obviously.
But, there is a level to which they've been taught and, and what they do, so there's certain things, certain elements, and certain techniques that people, and especially casting directors, with an eye for certain techniques can see very easily, right? But then the ... If you see an actor stop with that, like ju- just basically reach that level and only use that, then every single tape is going to look the same.
Now, this is the same thing for our dancers. They come on stage or they submit their audition tapes, and they're gonna be seen as just like the previous [00:18:00] tape. Now, there is also a different aspect. When the actors who actually get the roles, it's not that they're trying harder. In fact, it's the opposite.
They relax into the roles, and they connect with that character. They connect with whoever they're playing, whether it's for a commercial or it's for a TV show or for a big film. It doesn't matter. It's that human soul that cannot be replaced by anyone else, and that's the same for dancers. That's what we're talking about when we say authenticity, and I know it's very hard to do for dancers because there's just this so many elements and so much programming, especially from old school dance, studios that comes in.
And it's hard to pass through it because you think that, "Well, if I do it that way, that means I'm gonna be seen as someone who either doesn't [00:19:00] have technique or whatever." and at that point That's where you find a studio or you work with within a studio, 'cause, we can't blanket say that every single studio is bad, obviously, or that everybody in the studio is exactly the same.
We've been in the studios where there's some excellent and forward-thinking teachers who provide not just technique, but certain artistry, but not with a, metal stick on your head, but more of very encouraging and different way. And then also these same teachers who work diligently in bringing out that authenticity forward in our kids while these kids are learning technique.
Whereas there are other teachers within the same studio that do just technique-focused, who don't really care about that whole authentic thing, authentic piece. They only care about that particular turnout or whatever the jump high- or whatever it is that they're working on. And that is the difference that [00:20:00] really makes at the end of this line, and is what I've seen so far as I've been doing some more research and observing a lot of these kids who do make it further to the next level, versus those who walk away disappointed and wondering, "What happened?
I did everything right, and yet where's my outcome?" So that's what I wanted to talk about today. And if you have any comments or suggestions, of course, just find thrivingdancersco on, on Instagram and send a message there, which also works. you can also email or sign up for the newsletter, and you'd also be getting some of these bits and, tools in your email.
So I'm so glad to be back, and I can't wait to talk more about the tools that have helped my dancer. And I'm gonna start this off next week. and I'm gonna talk about more about what [00:21:00] is coming. we have awesome things planned out for you all. I have a whole line of different experts that are coming on the show, from GI doctors to, university professors and, university level PT and clinicians who are working with the dancers at the more professional level, and also actual professional dancers who will give you perspective from their side on how it is that they would love their dance moms to be and to, or would have been, so that you, as you have your little ones coming up to that pre-professional level, you can actually get them to that next level with ease and peace and not just peace of mind, but also with knowing that it all works out at the end.
All right. We'll see you on our next episode. Bye for [00:22:00] now
